I learned that marriage equality has been legal in Canada since 2005. I also learned:
That I only need ibuprofen, Zyrtec, eye drops, icepacks, massages, acupuncture, industrial-strength moisturizer and a nighttime humidifier in Los Angeles (and maybe Fresno).
That though I am as close to being a minimalist as L.A. culture allows without also being considered homeless or irrelevant, I still own a lot of useless crap.
That the best barbecue in all of Toronto is in Buffalo, New York.
That when you dance, you are never alone.
That in the western world we all have the same problems and that our collective number-one problem is that we all think we have problems.
That even in a Canada shirt and with no head, I'm still smokin’ hot.
That J-Cubed says some truly funny shit.
That Taylor Swift rocks my world.
That though the auburn hair on my head often looks brown under some–or no–lights, because I am a natural redhead (and all that that implies) I am a Ginger. Suck on that sneer-happy box-colored hipster L.A. reds (and all that that implies).
That I’m not that bitter.
That no matter how hard you work to accommodate the demands from others that your integrity be proven again and again and again, people will still hate you for dumb-ass stranger-than-fiction nonsensical mind-numbing bull hockey, so you might as well hold your head and your middle finger high while you get your wiggle on.
That everyone on the North American continent drives like making it to the next red light is a goal of the highest priority.
That one suitcase full of clothes, shoes, sunscreen and jewelry is enough.
That relative income is the solution to the problem of absolute income.
That poutine is delicious.
That no one knows how to flirt-by-text quite as well as I do, except maybe the Irish.
That primetime television, cable, Netflix, Hulu and Amazon Prime are no match for dance shoes and a passport.
That you cannot put a price tag on spending time with people who think the sun shines out of your ass.
That Resistance is a Mother Fucker and a Monster and The Biggest Beast I have ever fought and lost.